Hi I’m Julanie and I’m a mender… I’ve come to noticed that I am a fixer (of people and broken things) and sometimes it’s draining.
The subtitle of this column is totally fitting for this article. “A fixer of broken people and things”, and let me tell you, if you survived the festive season with loads of friends and family without any drama, Girl, count yourself lucky!
I think it’s safe to say when people gather it’s mostly a celebration. Conversation around dinner tables with food, laughter and the sound of people getting together gives an impression of hearty goodness and just feels happy to me. However, that can easily be flipped and it’s especially true when you’re related. There always seems to be some kind of minuscule moment where tension and past issues flare, and conflicts arise. In simple words plain old drama. Look, I love people! Always have, probably always will, and none more than my family, but sometimes it’s exhausting, and for most of us, this past December wasn’t any different. Between old feuds and long forgotten arguments that creep their way in; that typical sibling dynamic, tugging and pulling the balance. For me in moments like these, I’ve got two go to’s: I either walk away or I become a diffuser, however both almost always seem to get me in the line of fire, and somehow end up resulting in conflict. I know it can feel like a losing battle, but ever since I’ve lived far from my loved ones, it has shown me that I miss even those moments of discomfort. When I go back after each visit, I give thanks for the people in my life. In 2022 I’ve learned first-hand what it means to be alone. Days when I feel the distance, or miss my bunch of crazies, I cherish those times. Sometimes I think we only remember the good but it’s the bad that helps shape us. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be as strong and passionate if it wasn’t for my family shaping me, calling me out, holding me accountable. I’m a firm believer that family strengthens us, and that we need each other! So even during the family politics, I embrace it, take it as a growing opportunity because our nearest and dearest will test our limits, push the boundaries and see through the façades we tend to put up. I’m not saying we should entertain the chaos just to embrace and utilise even the toughest of situations. Because family was made to make us stronger.