Hi, I’m Julanie and I’m a mender… I’ve come to notice that I am a fixer (of people and broken things) and sometimes it’s draining.
Have you ever experienced a moment of pure bliss where you realise that hey, I’m doing okay. I might be in the midst of turmoil, but I’m alright, I’m doing just fine actually? Well, I had one of those days.
The last 3 years of my life haven’t been the smoothest ride. For various reasons, the most important of which was going through a divorce, you’re faced with dealing with hard, raw, brutal emotions, not to mention mourning the life you thought you were building, letting go not only of the love of your life, but also the dreams you had, your plans and goals suddenly dissolving into nothingness. Feeling like you’ve failed at life, let down your family, friends, your ex-partner and yes, yourself; but the biggest challenge of all, and probably the one I struggled with the most, is the covenant I made with God.
See, I grew up very religious and spiritual. Something I’m very grateful for, however, as life dishes out its harsh realities, and you grow into your own person with your own set of values, ideas and understanding. You come to understand that there is a multitude of reasons why things don’t always work out, and sometimes it’s not a big spiritual matter but simply life, or more accurately, people being people.
After a year of living on my own, and finally settling into my new world, I realise I have done it. I’ve built something of my own, and I might not have everything figured out, might have an empty bank account, might not know exactly what tomorrow will bring or exactly what the future looks like, but I’m good, like really good! Through it all I’ve had joy; not every moment was a happy fun-filled party, but joy didn’t leave my soul, and therefore I’m more than OK: in fact, Babe, I’m doing alright.